No one gets to pick their parents or natural style
Did you know over 50% of your natural behavioral style, how you are wired, is from genetics? As a result, you did not get to pick your parents or your natural behavioral style. The irony in life is that you did not create your natural style, but you must own it. So, you can thank your parents, or you can thank your parents.
What is the result of owning my Behavioral Style?
Success in all phases of life is the result from understanding, owning and leveraging your natural behavioral style. You can read more about that from last week’s article, https://bit.ly/2Lp1AYG. Your natural behavioral style is developed in your adolescent years usually by the age of 10. So, the sooner you understand your style the sooner you experience more success in your life.
You understand your style by taking behavioral science assessments which are becoming more popular every day. If you do not know your natural behavioral style, understanding it is the first step. You can set up your first assessment here, https://bit.ly/2L9kKVz.
Today we are going to focus on the second step, and that is owning your style. When you see your behavioral science results for the first time most people struggle to totally accept them because there are attributes in everyone’s style that we do not necessarily like about ourselves. Those things we would want to change if we could, but we can’t… so we must own them.
I still remember that day I saw my behavioral science results for the first time. It took me several years to own my style. Owning your style is more difficult than understanding it.
How do I own my style?
Owning your style starts with being transparent and vulnerable about how you are wired; about who you are. Recognizing that you have incredible strengths but weaknesses as well. And when you make a mistake with your style, which you will, you need to own it, apologize for it, learn from it and move on.
Making things right when your style got the best of you can be the hardest part of owning your style. If you don’t own your style, little things with other people turn into big things. Little things are easier to resolve, and significant change is usually required to solve big things.
One of the most important steps to owning your style is implementing techniques to more effectively use it. For example, I have a very fast pace and as a result struggle to stay listening for an extended period of time, so I use a technique called ‘listening with my eyes’.
Whoever I am talking to I look them right in the eyes, so I stay focused on listening. Another common technique is often times I need to modify my pace to match the person I’m communicating with. What techniques do you need to implement to more effectively manage and use your style?
Owning your style is essential to be a high-performance leader. If you want to be a great leader, one whom others want to follow, you must be open and vulnerable about your style. In simple terms you must be real.
Taking responsibility for your actions is the key to owning your style. In today’s market place the most successful leaders are those that have a connected and real relationship with each of their team members. Because they understand and own their natural behavioral style.
Once the leader understands, owns and leverages their own style, their next responsibility is to guide each of their direct reports in completing the same three steps through their development process. Here at Stop The Vanilla, we call this being The Shepherd of Your Talent (You can read more on that here, https://bit.ly/2KQVl2P). By leveraging the style of every team member, you create a high-performing team.
Owning your unique natural style is a critical step, and it isn’t always easy. As a result, a lot of people never get to the third step… leveraging their style because they don’t own their behavioral style. You can’t leverage your style until you first understand and own it. Do you understand and own your style?
How can you better understand and own your style?